Money can be so divisive, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. When you discuss it with your partner, focus on each other’s feelings, not objective fairness
I’m struggling with my relationship because there is a huge difference between my partner’s financial situation and mine. We’re both in our 50s, have been together for nearly three years and live apart. He – never married, no kids, great job – is very financially secure and has lots of spare money. I, however, as an older single parent, freelancing, some health problems, post-divorce and in a difficult economy, am absolutely skint! To the extent that I had to turn to the local food bank before Christmas, for which I was grateful but felt like such a failure.
Meanwhile, it is so galling to see my partner parading around in the (very expensive) new clothes he constantly buys and it’s upsetting that he does not offer to help out when, for example, a household appliance of mine breaks down, as happened recently. I know I have no right to expect it – his money is his, and I have always tried to be independent, but it does hurt.
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